What did I do this past month?

My plan was staying at home (the home at Weifang, China) for 30 days, from 31th, Dec to 30th, Jan, however, due to the visa problem, I postponed the schedule and didn't come back to US till two days ago. This made my vacation 40 day, and I got to spend three big festivals with my families: New Year, Chinese New Year, and Lantern Festival, which I think are the most important three festivals in Chinese culture. :)
Dad didn't change by look, but his personality is getting weird. His mid-age crisis with Mom went on and off during my stay. I'm not on either side of them, tried a lot to help them, encouraged them to communicate with each other, but it seemed like it didn't work very well. :(
Sometimes, I think I need to go back and stay forever to protect something or somebody. Mom and Dad are getting old, and start to have health problems from time to time. I want to stay for them. All my attachment is there, and him, the one I won't be able to get over for my whole life.
I found a box that i sealed 10 years ago in a drawer upstairs in the attic. I remember it, and haven't seen it for years I thought Mom through it away or lost it when we moved. Of course, it is not sealed anymore, and of course my parents opened it, and of course, they have "the right" to read my diaries and secrets. Three diaries, some old letters and gifts he gave me, and even one of his algebra notebook when we were in the No. 10 middle school. Suddenly, all those stuff brought me back to 10 years ago. Every words in the diary records those grey days in my life, and all about HIM. We met again, kinda like the old time but definitely different. Friend? More than friend? Life time friend? Thinking about the fact that we have been known each other for 20 years, and have been close to each other for 14 years just makes everything amazing and special.  And makes me afraid of losing it. We still care and hurt each other sometimes, as always.
It was good to be away US for a while to spend some special days with my family and also help me to get over J. Yes, right. It is time to be real Zhen's stone tough and stop fantasizing and move on!!!His personality disability should be something I hate/curse/be away forever. Let me put an end on it!!! Be Zhen!
No matter if i'm going back to China or not, now look around, I'm here, in US again. Zhen, face what you need to face right away, and solve problems one by one. And the most important thing is: keep your high dignity, respect yourself. Dad used to give me three words: 正确的，正面的，积极的。